Raising girls in this world....

The other day someone asked me if I ever wanted kids. I laughed because to me, this is an obvious question, though I can see how some might not see it that way. "Of course I do" I replied. "And knowing me, with the life I've lived, I'll probably be blessed with four boys!" He smiled, knowing how I spend 99% of my daily life with nothing but men. I have always been this way, not just in the touring world, but I've had a way of surrounding myself with honorary brothers. Through his smile a pained look clouded his eyes and he said "No...you need to raise girls. Its hard to raise girls, many who do it shouldn't and those who should often don't know it". I was taken back a bit. You see I am one of three girls, raised by an amazing woman, one who was born to raise girls. She raised us in her image: strong, independent, confident. We stand apart, because we were taught to, raised to, nurtured to be a certain way. So when he says this, I understand what he means. My mother was calculated in her rearing. At times I found her influence to be overbearing, her voice in my head constant, her teachings precise and specific, and yet, I always respected and admired her for her work, and in that moment, looking at this man, I did again. Its been her life passion: raising her daughters. This conversation makes me think about my friends. My girlfriends who I love so dearly. Some of us share certain attributes; some are similar to me in many ways, others are the extreme opposite. You like people for different reasons. I think about certain friends that make me cringe when I hear them answer their phones in that sing song voice, five octaves higher than their normal voice. Those who make me want to slap them when they bat their eyes at the waiter and ask for a favor, or how I roll my eyes as they slip into some affected alternative version of themselves as they lean over the counter to talk to the bartender. Didn't anyone love them? Really love them? I roll my eyes, but deep down I want to hug them, because it's not their fault. They were taught to do that. By women who were taught by their mothers. They were taught to get what they wanted out of life in the only way they knew how, by manipulation and flirtation. And guess what...it works. That's the sad part. And they make it look effortless from of practice. So who can blame them? If it ain't broke. And this works in all levels of society, in all types of interactions. It can start as a means to survival, but it crosses all social circles, from paupers to princes, from the girl in the local grocery store to the woman dripping in diamonds on the arm of a Barron. Sex...is...power. Oldest trick in the book. So unless you were taught to burn the book, close up shop and start your own printing press, this is the game we all seem to play. Which is why when this man looked at me, with a pained look in his eyes as he said I need to raise girls, I understood what he meant. Its much more difficult to raise women. Women will be responsible to teach men. They are the one's that choose which weapons to wield, whether to play dirty or not, what rules to use in the game of life. Women who don't use men, but love men, will teach other women how to love men, and then those men, will love their women, because they respect them. Its a cycle, a circle, a game, a responsibility, a life's work. Some women are meant to raise women, I guess my fears of raising four boys pales in comparison to the weight of raising three girls. Thanks mom.