Women on the road. What a funny idea. Out of 75 touring personnel there are 5 women out here. I decided it was time to have a girls day. So we went to get our nails done damnit! We did it all, mani's, massages and mimosas! It was awesome. We chatted like a knitting circle. I don't think people realize the life out here and what its like for a woman to function in it. Out of the five of us, we each have five different jobs: a production assistant, a press and promo girl, a caterer, a dressing room girl and a lighting chick. We interact throughout the day but don't work in the same divisions. For instance, I work alone. I don't have a team along side me, neither does the dressing room girl. Whereas the caterer has a team of men, as does the production assistant, and the lighting chick works alongside men as well, one being her husband. So we all interact with men differently during the day. I tend to deal with building reps, managers and promoters. I have to be feminine enough to be inviting but not so feminine that I'm sexy because that is intimidating. The Production Assistant needs to ooze sexuality so she creates a certain vibe in the office, very much like the secretaries of the 50's and 60's, but she can't actually BE SEXUAL, as that would create inter office stress and unneeded emotional turmoil, so she needs to be a chaste, while being sexy. Then there is the Dressing Room Girl, who spends time inside the band's coveted lair. She hems their clothes, fetches their underwear, brings them meals. This could be considered a very close relationship, but better not get too close. This is such a fine line that the wives of the band members had to interview her and give their seal of approval. So you can imagine how she dresses everyday....basically she can't look like a woman. She wears hoodies and baggie dickies in true roadie fashion. She's a gorgeous girl, but she's been given fair warning by her predecessor, don't even think about exposing belly or bra strap or you'll get canned. So that brings us to the catering girl, who works her ass off, hauling tubs of ice and cleaning up after local stagehands. She's the den mother. Cute as a button but with a steal coating you can't penetrate. She needs to be all smiles and laughs to everyone that comes into catering, no matter what. Catering is the place of comfort during the day. Food is you're only break. The only time you have to sit down and relax. So you walk in and are greeted by our smiling catering queen. The shit she gets from truck drivers, cranky roadies and lazy locals I can't even tell you, as she wipes the sweat from her brow and once again cleans the salad bar. Finally, the lighting chick, who pulls cable with her bare hands and fixes moving lights like a surgeon. Makeup is a ridiculous waste of time to her when she has a 5:45am lobby call, and what for? Her husband who's standing along side her barking orders at the local labor to move truss? This ain't no romantic comedy. She's decked out in a black hoodie and black pants just like the rest of them, on purpose, to look just like the rest of them, no need to draw attention in a sea of testosterone.
So there you have it, a woman's life on the road. The five of us. Pulling our weight everyday in this world of male-ness. I've heard certain terms and justifications for having women on the road; "One for every ten", keeps men in line, keep them sane, keep the energy balanced. Then there is also when you don't want more women "throw out the bleeders bring in the breeders". Yup, its quaint aint it?

I don't even want to get started on trying to find a shower in a venue with a door that locks, or what happens when you have to buy tampons at a truck stop with ten of your compadres behind you in line. Or that time you wore a skirt to work, you know just to change it up, never mind that it was down to your knees, you got so many cat calls you changed half way through the day so you could get some work done.

And then there are the OTHER women around, the ones who DON'T work with you, the visitors, the ones that just cause you a headache and remind you who you can not be under any circumstances. Like the time you came into the front lounge and there was a stripper passed out, alone, without her clothes on. Or the time your fellow roadies girlfriend got drunk and walked around the bus just in her bra? Or when your friend decided to pull a couple hot chicks from the crowd, brought them on the bus and they puked in the back lounge? Or the production runner who decided to work the whole day without a bra? Or the time the promoter rep for a local venue came out to party and got so hammered she started making out with everyone. Awkward.

Yup, women on the road, its a complicated story. So that's why, on a day off, after a long bus ride, I decided it was time for the five ladies of the road to join together and get Manicures and Mimosas. It was fun, if only for a fleeting time, as we laughed about our fellow roadies, commiserated about our shared pain, and giggled about our silly lives. We had fun, as girls do, as girls should, and then we went back to our male dominated days. We'll do a girls day again soon, we owe it to ourselves, we owe it to each other.

*C

So our lead singer got the flu. A serious flu in fact because we've canceled five shows. That's 10 days off. 10 days off for a roadie is dangerous. Right about now I guarantee you half a dozen roadies have completely depleted their bank accounts due to excessive alcohol consumption (as well as other party favors...we are near the Mexican boarder after all) and another half are crawling the walls from trapping themselves in their hotels rooms to NOT deplete their bank accounts. Either way you lose. We are not the sort to be lazy, so when you give us all this time off, and we have nothing to do, we go crazy. And it would be one thing if we had real "time off" and we could go home, or even take a few days off to travel to the coast and relax, but we're on call, waiting for the next chess move in this game and we are at the mercy of the band, so we need to stay put and wait it out. Waiting it out today means in a Hilton hotel room downtown Houston. Have you ever been downtown Houston? Did you know it the fattest city in America. When you ask a local what you do here they answer "eat and shop". Here, you get arrested for skateboarding, there are signs everywhere that say "this is not a camp ground" and there is zero culture. It's almost like some strange reality show they've got us on, we're on candid camera. The plot: How long till they loose their minds.

Everything is sand beige. Everyone is sand beige as well...so boring. BUT the highlight so far...the hotel was hosting a Chess competition! Grade school kids, running around with enormous statues for winning chess tournaments! that looked THRILLING!

My friend met a girl in a Thai restaurant who had tattoos, he asked her where to go to have some fun in this town, she smiled and said, you mean where people are...."open minded". Yes. That is a key ingredient, especially in Texas. Open-mindedness is so often taken for granted in the circles we swim in, and yet, two days with nothing to do in Houston will tell you exactly where your mind is.

I needed to do laundry today, since it had been 10 days since my last load. So my friend and I took the hotel shuttle over to the only Laundromat in the downtown area...a nice ten minute ride from the hotel, and as we pulled up, there were 8 other roadies doing their laundry! Laundry party! Liquor store was next door...it actually WAS a laundry party! Leave it to us to make anything into a party.

So tonight is some arcade bar where there is skee ball and PBR. Perhaps we'll have some fun. Perhaps I'll come home early and watch more episodes of Mad Men on my laptop. Either way, we're off to Dallas tomorrow...so we can wait some more...so we can fly to Vegas...so we can wait some more. Have you ever wanted to work this bad? Does it sound strange? Perhaps, but it totally puts into perspective what you enjoy doing, and one of those things is putting on a rock show, and damn do I love putting on a rock show....I can't wait till the next time I get to put on a rock show. Get better soon lead singer...please God...get better soon....